This makes my brain hurt!

These are actual responses to a craigslist ad!  The only thing I edited were the last names and phone numbers!  This is the future of our country....

• Hi I'm ready to star work partime Job just can send it to me you adress and then go n person to Aply 

• Hello my name is Lindber A and I would like the oppertunity to work for you

• interested in your driving position call 562xxxxxxx bryant thx

• Hello, This is edgar m, i am 20 years old i worked for valet parking for 2 years im familear with la and i have a clean driving record since the day i got my license please contact me at 818-xxx-xxxx for the job listing on craigslist Thank you, 

• INTERESTED IN THE POSITION.

• hey how you guys doing my name is Omar O and i will like to work for you guys company if i get a chance i'm a hard worker, honest, with no criminal record, clean driving record i will do my best for the company so i hope i get a call at 562 xxxxxxx or email me back thanks..

• text me the deets 818xxx-xxxx 

Help me now!!!!

Today's lovely replies.

I must preface this by saying that my requests for submitting typo free resumes is very simple.
1) no attachments
2) answer 3 questions

• What do you have to offer me that the next person doesn't?
• How many times is it acceptable to miss a shift in a 6 month period?
• What has prevented you from fulfilling job duties in the past

Easy, right?  Well, this is my first line of weeding out those that do not follow simple directions.  Over 40% of the responses are deleted for sending resumes as attachments.  The next 30% for not answering the 3 questions and then there are other deleted for the horrible pictures they send with the resume!

Here are a few that were deleted today:

•   I should be hired because i came all the way from israel, i know how to talk with people with a great attitude, i love to work with people -- and i like my job!!! (no resume or anything...just that sentence!)
• No problem 818-4XX-XXXX  (obviously it is because you follow directions so well!)
•  I should be hired because I have recent experience working at private events that including job tasks regarding serving drinks, and bartendening.
•  East Los Angeles Jr. College          Major: Journalism                                                
   Minor: Communication                    Grade Point Average: 2.8

That concludes today's post!

Reader submitted post!

Thank you Meredith from Austin, TX for submitting this one!

QUALIFACATIONS
Life long service oriented person
Have observed many styles of service
Been the owner of two food operations
I have attended the school of hard knocks

It's that time of year again!

I have posted an ad on Craigslist to hire for the upcoming Wedding season at work. In a nutshell, that posting will give me plenty of ammunition for this season!

I am not disappointed!  My very first response has earned the first post of the season. 

Here we go!

In response to "what sets him apart from the next resume" was this response:

"Something that sets me apart is that I have a huge personality. I genuinely enjoy working in the service industry and have a great time doing it. I am a very social person and kind of think of it has having dinner/drinks with a bunch of fun new people each night as well as some old faces too. I tend to sing, dance, joke around and just have a good time while I work all while getting the job done well."

I really don't want someone that will sing and dance with the wedding guests!


Here are the accompanying pictures:

Notice what he is laying against and the hand!

Ummmmm, what should I say?!